Achieving your dreams by just doing and being more of what you want


Before my Dark Night of the Soul, I realized wasn't listening to my heart. I wanted to make the world better and everyone around me happy, so I would listen to everyone's crap around me and tried to please them, especially my narcissistic ex-mom. 

When you give certain people your arm, they then want your legs and the rest and nothing you change is ever good enough.
I had a lot of critical and judgmental people around me that had no capacity to deal with their pain, neither had them achieved their dreams or accomplished much but they always knew what was best for me. That's where I learned over and over that critical and judgmental people are cowards that cannot deal with their own stuff and use others as distractions or to feel good about themselves.

I was an introvert who lived my whole life as an extrovert. I tried to be 'normal' for a good portion of my life.

Twelve years ago I struggled between being by myself more often and then having periods of guilt for not being available for those who constantly needed me, or open to meet new wounded people who are attracted to empaths all the time if they're not careful. I'd beat myself down for it and felt unsure of wanting something that is not common, as most people are never alone.

For an introvert, that is very draining. I wasn't listening to my heart because when we follow others' advice or demands we block our ability and unlearn how to live from the heart, something that we know instinctively when we are born.
As I realized that to be a good person I didn't need to accept everyone who wanted to be in my life, I started to choose the people around me. I remained in that frequency or habit for a few years until I realized what type of people I wanted, then I evolved into accepting nothing less, being true to myself as much as possible and continued shifting my inner and outer world every time I found more clarity. To have this little dream come true I had to make little changes and create healthy boundaries while being loyal to me because no one out there is watching for my interests.
When I had nothing to eat and homelessness was a real possibility I couldn't help one single person or animal as I was freaking out about my life. To make a difference in the world we need to take care of ourselves first.

When I decided it was time to fight for my lifelong dream of staying at home or at least not be crowded by toxic people all day, I stopped accepting work with too many hours. Then I stopped accepting work environments that were toxic at all, and believe me since I was 14 there was a war everywhere I went - from home to school and work environments - as my early mission as a lightworker was to clear negative and low vibration energy. That put a spotlight on me and I was attacked by the dark many times.
Denise Le Fay is a rare and genuine spiritual teacher who have the guts to talk about this.

These wishes were in my heart as an impulse for decades and I suppressed it because I thought it was selfish. I remember when I was 15 and knew what I wanted and how my life should be. Unfortunately, peer pressure, having a savior and messiah complex, as well as sacrificing too much led me to shut down little by little to a point where I didn't know how to listen to my heart anymore. I'm grateful for this because no religious cult brainwashed me for good, and I question everything society says.

I was wounded, I thought I was depressed, had panic attacks and anxiety. I had awful 'friends', relatives, and work environments. I realize now that the Universe guided me to see everything that I didn't want manifesting in my life, even near homelessness - because my parents scammed me out of all my money and then threatened to kick me out - so I could finally snap.

When a Leo gets angry we can change our lives very quickly, a benefit of a fire sign.

Self-compassion is the most important thing you need to keep in your heart throughout your life. I hope you didn't go through this as I did, but if the whole world turned their back against you, you would still have you. Going into hermit mode for more than a decade was part of my path to prepare for my life purpose. The signs were there and I didn't listen. They always are before life crisis, we receive tons of warnings. As I was reluctant to let so many energy vampires go - even family members - Source even moved THEM across the ocean to the other side of the world so I would start a lonely healing. You never figure out looking forwards but back, and I promise you we are always watched over.

In the end, even things that are awful, painful or you go through them alone are meant to help you. It really doesn't look like that when you are in the middle of a crisis. For me, being afraid of living in the streets was part of The Dark Night of the Soul. That fear alone made me figure out who I really am and what's important. It also broke down my illusionary dreams and personality. A Spiritual Awakening is the greatest blessing a person can go through because you cease to be what they made you to be and finally become who you truly are, that's why relationships and jobs go downhill.

Start with a 2-minute meditation a day increasing that to 20 and more in a few months. Always start small. You can do anything if it's just for 2 or 5 minutes. Sometimes fear and resistance freeze you and you can't sit to write a blog or your life purpose's next step, but you can definitely sit on your computer and type for 2 minutes.

Start to heal and occupy your heart again or other things will: the media, society's expectations, false beliefs, religious cults, generational, Humanity's and your fears, demonic entities, other people's thought forms, their energy and projections and more. When you occupy your heart you immediately know something that doesn't belong there just entered. It seems easier to be distracted like the rest of the zombies, but that's actually not a normal way to live. If you just contemplate you for a few minutes every night you can cut any weeds and shift directions slightly.

That's why Natives were not sick, depressed or going through the problems that the 'modern and civilized' society goes through because they were more spiritual and less judgmental than what the world became.

Why were they happier? They were closer to nature, they cared about what really matters instead of their image, status and too much material crap, had a natural spirituality that didn't demand anything, they didn't have too much individualism but a strong and compassionate community. A support system is so important. No society is perfect but they were doing way better than us for respecting divine timing. I know cause I was an Apache woman in my previous life, I miss it.

Go slow with everything that you start. Find your pace as you go. If you fall off the wagon, that's completely fine, part of the change, and necessary! You are not doing anything wrong or failing, you are changing and for that, you need to go back and forth crossing the invisible and thick field of resistance.
My experience with resistance showed me it is composed of fear, beliefs that created my current paradigm, energy blocks, the way I've been living until I'm aware I need to change, my neural pathways automatically leading me to go on with my harmful habits, my subconscious mind (running background software) making my thoughts, movements and days be just like the one before and so on.

To listen to your heart you need the intention, the reminder (write down where you can see until it's 2nd nature) and to open the space make the time for it. Two minutes is nothing.

You won't find any other woman of the same age, color or whatever who wants the same things or have the same life purpose as you, so remember you are unique, that there's no one with the answer out there, or that you should be doing anything other people of your gender, age or background are doing.
Being like the next person is making Humanity unhappy, thinking they have anxiety and depression when in truth they're usually not following their heart.
Anyone who has unfinished grief, who don't express themselves and their emotions, who don't follow their life purpose and don't know their hearts WILL feel scared and sad.
Look at the conspiracy theories about the pharmaceutical industry - or DRUG business (amazing how they would call it that right in our faces, that's occultism) - and then make your own conclusions using your intuition and heart.

Knowing thyself is the first secret in life. That will help you develop self-compassion. There is nothing out there that you need to master more than yourself. Once you know you, you can read anyone else and no one can really lie to you.

Know your values and priorities always, you can find them by consulting your heart every day. Your life purpose and what's important to you will change over time. Writing them down periodically in self-study will give you clarity, as much as going back and reading that again of course.
You will never be led completely astray though because even the most unconscious person is still watched over by Source.

A technique that I learned from one of Angelica from Angel star creations' course*, it's to write down your life exactly how you want it to be.

List the things you want to have accomplished or as a narrative in the present time as if you are living it. Remember to have the person you want to be (under all the trauma, family patterns, beliefs, energy blocks and all that you actually are), things you want to have, how your relationships should be, your home or sanctuary, health, life purpose or heart-centered business. Plan all areas. It is said we have 8 to 10. Some of them are spiritual, health, development, work, relationships, fun... Take some action as well while being very kind to yourself while doing it. And taking inspired action is better
than forcing things.

Knowing thyself will make sure you put your energy in what's important. For me self-love always comes first after being used and drained, ending up suicidal, hungry, alone and almost homeless at 26. It was a dream I always pursued and gave up on. You have one of those or many.

Put that on your wall and read that day and night when you feel from centered to joyful. Read with emotion, it is the subconscious minds' language. If you are feeling down or purging something, read it when you went through it and feel better. Never ignore or run from uncomfortable feelings, they'll fester and won't go away.

Check back, review and make changes according to how your vision or clarity keeps developing as time goes on. Make it so every few months. If you read it often you will always remember the big picture, transforming your paradigm and expectations, and you won't get lost with other distractions which is so easy to do.
And don't forget about fun. This is not about being serious, losing creativity and just focusing on your dreams or 'hustling' (I hate that word). Dreams are achieved if you go on with the spirit of the inner child. Only a child can dream, learn, grow, be vulnerable, listen to her heart, fall down, cry and get up again.
I'll confess here in hopes it helps you, but I cry a lot. I'm not depressed, in fact, I find it a sign of being in the flow and being human. It means energy is moving and I'm not getting anything stuck.
I don't try to be happy, it always sends me right back to the other polarity. I like to be centered and truly feel what I'm feeling without forcing positivity or faking happiness. If I'm too excited I try to tone it down and if I'm in a funk or purging some past pain I feel it deeply but gently get myself up after a while. I also laugh a lot, something I never thought I would do after the trip to hell and back that 26 years of my life was.

Be mindful to not tell anyone that wouldn't support your dreams.
We live in a world of fear and you cannot see your dream clearly through the eyes of a pessimist, someone who don't have the guts to fight for what they want so they just smash other people's dreams. Don't even keep these people in your life. My family, relatives and many 'friends' I had used to dismiss or mock my opinions, ideas, and dreams.
It's no wonder I was petrified to start anything because I always knew they were against all that I was.

We are all responsible for ourselves and the minimum requirement for someone to be in your life should be treating you with the uttermost kindness and respect. I know this is not normal and most people settle for way less.
I promise you, what started for me as a way to let go of people who were literally hurting me, ended up 12 years later as me having none of them in my life, but only people who will support me.

We all heard about people complaining about a relative or someone who is difficult in their lives, I don't have one of those. I am extremely sensitive so I couldn't stand those people no matter how much I loved them. I just deserve to be treated like I treat others. Blood relations, a childhood friend, someone you know for 15 years or so on are not excuses for them to let the relationship go down the drain. You don't owe anyone any loyalty besides yourself.
If a friendship started out fine for two years and then they turned rude, if they started to vent their frustrations on you, or they started to show their real colors don't blame yourself. If there's something you did they should come and clearly state it. You are not obligated to endure any level of abuse.

Nowadays, I have so much self-respect and compassion that I even find judgment and criticism lower levels of abuse. Someone talking like that all the time, putting me down and making me feel less than centered is not really interested in my highest good, so they can go away. One day they'll have no one to hurt and will have to look at themselves in the mirror as the universe always make sure that happens. These people will go through a spiritual awakening one day, if not in this lifetime then in a hundred from now. Everyone needs to evolve and excusing these people and being a doormat is to be an enabler.
When a relationship is unbalanced it's because two souls are at different frequency levels, the one on a higher level will always feel drained because they are carrying the unevolved on their back. To have the most loving coming down to their level, the less enlightened will create dramas, suck their energy, envy or attack them. To know the feeling just think of certain people who called, visited or even only e-mailed you and then left you in a bad mood, feeling insecure or unsure. That's how to recognize energy vampires and how they either stole energy or dumped their pain on you. You had just been spiritually attacked.

Measure your relationships by the way you feel around them. Even if you cannot rationally identify what's wrong trust that. Every time I ignored the uncomfortable feeling I had about someone, I regretted it. I was always right and we all have the ability to read people. Even if they were not a bad person but wounded it just meant that friend wasn't for me or the timing wasn't right. We are supposed to feel supported, loved and understood. I've seen over and over again friendships that were unbalanced with one giving while the other only took.

It's not possible to become self-respecting overnight if you have been abused, bullied and attacked. But you can let certain people go or tell them what you need or no longer accept certain treatments. Start low and slow. Do little until you can reach higher peaks, forgiving yourself when you let them step over you again. Maybe next time you can do it. Sometimes enduring the thing we hate can give us fuel to do better. And if you get it wrong a thousand times, forgive yourself a thousand more.
At 13, when I fantasized and wished I could face my 12 racist bullies I didn't know I was visualizing and already changing from within. It took me four months. As I always did, I was looking down at my feet while I was robbed, humiliated and tortured when I suddenly came back from my dissociation and saw the Japanese leader was alone. This sudden burst of rage filled me with a courage I didn't know I had, I didn't care if I died or the consequences anymore. Long story short, I threw her down the stairs after we pushed each other. I immediately regretted it and, after a while, I dealt with another group of bullies, this time it was all of them at the same time.
If bullied, only focus on the leader. The minions holding them on top of the pyramid are even more cowards than the original bully. When dealing with herd-type of people remember you are not seeing 10 but 1, they are only obeying the leader and are a hive-mind. Never let numbers intimidate you, I've never dealt with a bully who came at me by themselves. Courageous people stand alone, cowards can't.

Decisions are very important. They can be life-changing. It is okay to go back on your decision. Your ego, beliefs that created your paradigm and more make you even forget about your resolution.
What you must do to change your life and achieve your dreams is not to stick to something and have it perfectly accomplished for now on. That's self-defeating and that's why the Monday diet doesn't work. Because on Monday you're going to eat a salad, you will do well on Tuesday but then Thursday comes with an invitation to go to an unhealthy restaurant and in that unconscious mood of talking to friends or getting excited you completely indulge yourself.
What most people do is to give up completely and beat themselves down.

I've found that my ego, energy field, my neural pathways, and even my body on a cellular level all move me to act in a certain way. To change I go back and forth, sometimes losing motivation completely and forget or give up for a while. That's when I go deep, into invisible levels beyond the physical, the mental, emotional and into the spiritual body and another dimension to purge the personality and habits that belonged to the woman I was.
That's why we give up before going that deep. Because the commonly accepted spirituality is distorted by the dark (entities and zombified people who try to stop planetary Ascension but can't) and yet again we have an external type of spirituality, making it pointless. There is also a distorted believe that spirituality has to do with card decks and crystals making it materialistic and another distraction which was the intention.
Spirituality is to go within. We have an inner power to heal everything without any tools or remedies. We need to uncover the layers of pain and unconsciousness we left there. It takes much patience and perseverance though as this war for consciousness happening on Earth left us very disempowered with their religious cults, beliefs, impositions, rules, media and money and most of the Human potential is turned off.

In higher worlds, for example, they don't have healers in the same way as here. They have those who inspire, teach/share or guide but the individual do the self-healing or better yet - alignment - themselves.

Don't get me wrong, I have a tarot deck I almost never use, but what I mean is that we need to be going within in contemplation more than seeking for the answers outside of ourselves. We only get confirmations and synchronicities out there, after we've done the inner job.

When I quit alcohol, smoking, when I went vegan (although I changed over-minute, not overnight), when I became confident, learned self-love, valued myself, found my life purpose and started trying to do what I love, they were all dreams in the making. I achieved and continue to do so one goal at a time and slowly. Changes also bring our irrational fears to the surface so while pursuing your dreams
you will get paralyzed or have panic attacks sometimes, but that's what letting go means. You are becoming someone else in a sense, you are getting closer to your purest form, your higher self and full potential.

There was no point where I suddenly became all of that, aside from the cruelty-free change cause I love Animals. When I want something new - because it's not a happy ending fairy-tale and then it's all over - I even take my time before I begin, nowadays. I know all the process of persisting, planning, sticking to it, getting off the wagon and so on, so I prefer to prepare emotionally and mentally before I start. But when I start to wish new dreams, I go as a slow as a turtle because that's my pace. Animals and nature have much to teach us.
You don't know when you achieved your dreams because you become those things from within. The process is part of the dream. You will never be the same person again, it's worth it.

Some people would prefer to have more action or go faster. That's why knowing yourself will tell you everything you need to know.

Listen to your heart and you will be fine. Don't listen to anyone else you didn't ask. Especially don't accept criticism or advice from those who accomplished nothing. Healed and loving people don't go around attacking or lecturing others.

With the ongoing Ascension process, we will soon realize that we have no leaders at all. Remember that one of the biggest religion cults in the world became so large by killing and burning those who didn't follow it. In a world as low vibration and barbaric as this you need to think for yourself, that's your salvation. And don't just think, but always feel. Feelings are a universal language, energy cannot be faked and as such you will never be deceived by it. When listening to a spiritual teacher don't be deceived by what you see but trust what you feel. Most speaking the Truth and trying to share real tools for healing and Liberation (so many times freely or on donations) are being attacked, many of them don't become popular or wealthy. Be suspicious of everything that is trending or allowed to reach so many people without interference. Try to look at the world in an upside down manner sometimes and you will actually start seeing what's really going on in this parasitic pyramid matrix. The good are on the bottom not because they attracted any crap, but because the law of attraction is not even working properly here as it is on Free Planets.

Open up compassion for self and all beings and you will live from the heart. That's the only place you need to be in all the time. The heart is a stargate where you can get information from anytime and anywhere, and Goddess/God/Source/Great Spirit is within you, She is you and in all Beings around you. You don't need to reach out to find yourself and Creator. That's why so many amazing people didn't go to school, and why there are things that we just know.
The more you trust what you know - not what you believe - the wiser and confident you will become. Knowing comes from experience. When we read or accept someone else's paradigm it doesn't mean we learned anything.

When you know, you are unshakable.

People that come and go cannot take you down. You go back to your truth and the opposition will actually serve as a fuel for you to speak up or move on with your mission even more. Naysayers and attackers have been on the path of Lightworker Empaths throughout history. Never feel ashamed or think that they are right. Another awful distortion about the hijacked Law of Attraction and New Age is to shame and blame spiritual people, adding to their burdens.

That's the reason why I went through so much terror, trauma, and attacks so when I finally realized my life purpose I would have the guts to continue.

Keep on moving as well as stop and go within as many times as you have to.
Life is made of passive and active states of being. When we are only one or the other we lose energy and balance. We all have seen people that just go, go, go and do, do, do, or the type that let the universe carry them as leaves. Both end up very disappointed. I was the leaf type.
So be and do more of what you want to become, what you want to have and where you want to end up. Have self-compassion and understanding as you go back and forth learning things on increasingly deeper levels.

Know how loved and watched over you are, always. Knowing is what will actually show you proof and miracles.
Feel free to comment or contact me with questions and I will help if I can.

I love you very much and I am wishing all your dreams to come true.

Marta

*The course is no longer available



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