Lightworker Empaths Having to Cut Loved Ones out of their Lives

Lightworker Empaths Having to Cut Loved Ones out of their Lives - Lonely girl on the beach - Toxic People, Ascension, Frequency Split


Many Lightworker Empaths have been waking up to the fact that it's no longer possible to carry toxic and low vibration people on their backs anymore because of the frequency split. We are all moving more and more into the timeline and frequency we belong to and to stay near or even just continue to 'know' those who sometimes feel like they almost belong to a different species is becoming painful for everyone involved. 

All in all, it is becoming physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and energetically impossible to be outside of our 'tribe' or frequency. Those who lived heart-based lives are finally having an easier time because they were used to feel, while those who were overtaken and lived from their egos are losing balance because this world will support them less and less as the smallest and etheric construct of this world is changing, and there is a heart chakra opening occurring so no pain, trauma and unresolved feelings will remain hidden or unfelt. New Earth is slowly becoming a world suitable for Empaths, not psychopaths and parasites as it has been for thousands of years.
This will take as long as it takes and we should focus on our inner world as we have no right or control over what's going on outside of ourselves. There are some things outside of us that can influence us though, like people.
Family, relatives, old 'friends' or co-workers that don't treat us right can occupy a lot of energetic space in our lives, draining us. We can realize they do that when we leave the burden behind or spend some time apart.
As I no longer have one single toxic, rude, abusive, critical, judgmental or jealous person in my life anymore it's hard to believe how awful most of my journey has been, enduring these type of people everywhere I went. I used to cut people out only if they crossed the line over and over. We can give people a second chance if we want and feel strong enough but I used to forgive dozens of times until I learned to value myself.
Looking back I can see why I had so many parasites and energy vampires in my life, I had to wake up. Many times, Empaths don't realize some people wish them ill because they would never harbor such feelings in their hearts so they cannot fathom others would even think of it. It's not because the empathic are naive or stupid, they just can't harm any living being.
If we have the courage to share our stories, we help others heal and know that they are not alone.
We have been conditioned to be loyal and stick by family and loved ones and this has made a lot of good people endure abuse, which no one has the right to impose on others, it doesn't matter if they are family. It's never the abuser or toxic person who wants out of the relationship, it's the good person so if you ever feel drained, stunned, hurt, misunderstood, criticized, attacked, gaslighted or blamed in a relationship try to look at it from a distance and stop shaming yourself or feel guilty if you want to leave. You can also take a third person who really has your best interest at heart to let them see the interaction because the abused is often dissociated and can't recognize lack of respect. When you grew up in abuse you sometimes don't know what's ok or not in relationships.
I want to do my part and share a little bit of how awful my family, relatives and some close 'friends' were to me and how I no longer have any unloving or wounded people in my life. It took me decades to realize, then take action and now I am finally healing. I hope others don't have to suffer for so long.
I did the unthinkable, I cut my family, relatives and childhood 'friend' out of my life. This is my story.
Many people have good stories about their childhood or friends who remain in their lives to this day. My story wasn't happy, it was more about me enduring and forgiving this cousin for 21 years until I decided to cut her out of my life.
My narcissistic ex-mom used to compare me to this 'best-friend' because she is part of my mom's soul family and they're very alike. Both are fearful, hateful, revengeful, racist, have a low vibration, are really good with this material world, competitive, jealous, resentful, they're very charismatic and everyone likes them. It's amazing how well 3d people get along with each other and the multidimensional just can't fit in no matter what they try. On the inside they are poisonous, cowards, they care a lot about what others think; one hurt an animal in front of me while the other killed a cat when she was little and then told me about it grinning because I've always been an animal lover. Even as a child this best friend showed all the hallmarks of a narcissist and a very cruel person.
When I was 8 and had gone through a major trauma that shattered my childhood, I could barely speak let along play or entertain my 'best-friend'. This cousin was used to me tending to all of her needs and creating activities when she got bored but she never cared about what I wanted, even though we were equals as she was only a year younger. This was the only time I couldn't be what she wanted and in a few minutes she was irritated with me because I wasn't being a good hostess, I could tell.
Since we were very little it was all about what I could give or do for her. When I couldn't, the friendship would immediately shift. She would become sour, angry or cold. As long as you are doing what narcissists, psychopaths and parasitic people want they might behave but as soon as you withdraw it they turn into someone else. It is very difficult to understand until you finally figure out the people who have a void inside - those who lack in compassion. These people are not whole or a full human being yet.
She then started to look at me with disgust and disdain. I used to smile and pretend all was well because if I wasn't completely charming and hid my pain, my mom would punish me severely when people were gone or we were alone. She was all about how others perceived her. These are the only personalities the narcissist has, those that worked for them with other people. I don't know where I read that narcissists love themselves too much, it's quite the contrary, they have no self-love or confidence at all. They are young and extremely traumatized souls with no inner light.
Going back to my bored cousin, she then said she was going to the bathroom but I intuitively knew she was lying. Source then told me to follow her because I needed to see what she was about to do. I know now that I needed to see the proof I could never trust her. I always received help when it came to my safety on this planet. She was too close, too intimate and could really hurt me if I ever opened up to her which I thought of doing a few times when I had no one else.
Indeed she didn't go to the bathroom, she just couldn't stand my presence as I wasn't being my usual doormat, trying to make others comfortable in my own fricking home. She was destroying me behind my back and my brother agreed with everything she was saying. Today it's hard to imagine a 7-year-old child could say the things she did but I believed her back then. I felt like I was stabbed in the heart. I remember it felt physically painful to hear the two that I loved, protected and sacrificed so much for despising me. I ran back to my room shaking. She stayed the whole weekend and I pretended I haven't heard anything.
I also grew up with a psychopathic brother who would join my mother in torture, laugh, talk about me right in front of me and on top of it all I had to hide my feelings to not receive a beating from my mom and pretend all was fine when my neglectful father came home. My mom would changed a lot in front of him.
I am not ashamed to say that I was 26 the last time she slapped me repeatedly. I was 18 the time before that. It really hits your dignity and it's a surreal experience. I remember feeling out of body, like how humiliating it felt to have that happening to me and how surely no one else on this planet was being hit by their moms at such an old age. Now I know that if I went through this, others experienced it too.
When I was 5 my mom said she almost aborted me by accident and calmly looked down at me, and with about 3 great black shadow entities behind her, she said that she should have done it. I understood that she regretted I lived and since then, I felt unworthy, like I'm occupying space I don't deserve, afraid to have money, feeling like serving everyone but never taking care of myself, having a horrible toxic shame most of the time, always hiding who I was and started having suicidal feelings. It was so traumatizing that I didn't remember she said it until I was about 22 and the flashbacks started. Our bodies and mind have Divine intelligence and know how to heal itself and things will come up when we can take it. She denied it as any narcissist would.
I was also 5 that I forgot to do my homework in my first week of school and my mom beat, punched and kicked on the ground, she threw me against the wall for hours until I couldn't breathe or even think anymore. I know she was somewhat conscious of it although clearly with demonic possession as well because she was still rational enough to aim from my neck down and no bruises showed in my arms as my school uniform had short sleeves.
I have other two very evil cousins who bullied others since I was little. Their energy always gave me the shivers and it felt very wrong. They provoked and then attacked me for no reason at all. For a long while I tried to force smiles and pretended everything was fine because I just knew if I defended myself I would lose them. They were that resentful and unforgiving. These two were clear cases of interdimensional entities using people as *portals for partial or complete possession to harm Lightworkers so they are too traumatized, burdened, suicidal or even wounded to do their mission.
As our relationship turned into bullying I got really tired and stood up against them. They were stunned because they thought my kindness meant I was a pushover and a coward. That's when people like that are ever nice to others: because they are afraid or they want something from them. I could see the fear in their eyes, the surprise and as expected I became the bad guy just for defending myself.
That was my relationship with many of my relatives. I kept my mouth shut or I would lose them. It's black or white with them, no negotiation.
These two cousins were not satisfied with us just stop talking to each other and clearly became friends only because of me. They then came to attack me - together - at our grandfather's funeral! They didn't have the guts to come at me alone. I previously had to confront each one of them separately and they ran with their tails between their legs, even though they are older and I was terrified of them when I was little.
I remember they didn't care that he died and were staring at me threateningly until I got pissed and stared right back but they ran again. I wondered for a while if they were going to convince a third person to come to join them because bullies or cowards never face something alone. They are sheep and need a crowd to back them up, that's why they thrive in covert attacks such as creating drama, gossiping or destroying people's reputation behind their backs. They didn't know I had already dealt with a group of 12 bullies at the same time when I was 13. My mom, brother, some relatives, neighbors and some people at school were so abusive there was a point when I snapped. When I didn't commit suicide I broke some limit and no longer feared people screaming, threatening, hitting me or even feared death anymore. We are always about to reach a new level when we get to the hardest point that makes us want to give up. I went through abuse daily and my ex-mom never knew this but there was a point when I was about 6 when she would hit me for a long time but I stopped feeling the pain when I was angry. When she realized I was defying her with my eyes she decreased physical and other types of abuses and increased emotional attacks. The human body, mind and soul are truly miraculous and we can overcome and outgrow anything we are forced to endure. We should never feed the abuser, narcissist or whoever is trying to torture us with what they want, which is our suffering, fear or submission.
It seemed I was the only one that cared for our grandfather passing. Before his death, he told me I was the only grandchild that cared and visited him and my grandmother.
There were other attacks by these two older cousins. One of them tried to create drama pretending I didn't give her the check to help with the funeral but it never became a big deal. I might have been attacked a lot but I am well protected against evil people.
As long as we don't descend to their levels, remain in our integrity, compassion and service, it will always backfire and the attacks are deflected right back to the source. Energy always returns to its origins.
For most of my life, I felt ashamed and wondered what was wrong with me that so many who knew me seemed to despise, take advantage, bully or attack me while they seemed to like and leave each other alone. As it continued to happen with close friendships and work environments I questioned myself a lot and sometimes, this world. I thought I was doing something wrong and actually was told I was weird, that it was my fault or it is because I don't act like everyone else. The misinformation part in the law of attraction that says we attract the attacks and the people around us was very painful until I realized it wasn't true. It is not taking into consideration the parasites who were in control of this planet. We are attracting some of the things in our lives while others are deliberately coming from others as this is a free-will planet where the evil, the neutral and the compassionate are free to do as they wish, especially when we have no self-preservation or boundaries like many empaths do.
When I cut these toxic people out of my life I had much more free space and energy, it was a relief.
I then began to notice lower levels of abuse. We heal in layers and when it is done we can see truths never available before.
After my childhood friend was gone, another narcissist came into my life. For four months she kept calling and being extremely nice to me at school. You can see that I hadn't healed or realized what narcissism was so this parasite came to fill this void immediately after I dumped my first 'best-friend'. One trick that they use if you are an Empath is to make you feel sorry for them, that's how they energetically and emotionally hook you up. There is always the victim and victimizer dynamic that will occur in the future, but in the 'honeymoon' phase they will always have problems and be 'suffering' something that Empaths will not resist but want to help unless they went through this dance enough and develop a narcissist detector. This friend soon told me she was abandoned by her mother, even though her aunt - who adopted her- provided her with all she ever needed. When I tried to put boundaries in place or complain about her demeaning behavior, she would immediately pull the orphan card in very subtle ways and I would leave it be. There was a subtle understanding between us that she suffered more than me so I should be the giver and tolerant one in our 'friendship'. She did throw in my face I shouldn't complain about anything years later, because I had a mother, like being abandoned as a baby is the worst thing in the world and no one else have it as bad as her, even though her aunt was a great mother. I only accepted this because I grew up really messed up and knew nothing about assertion and boundaries. I realize her aunt was also being drained by her as she would always feel sorry for her self and to make up for this never-ending 'trauma', her aunt would make it up to her even though she was nearing her 30s. I can recognize the Empath in her aunt as well.
There is also this ecstatic phase with narcissists. With so many interdimensional and demonic entity attachments behind them, they can use magic to create a magnetic pull, an attraction that the boundless, wounded and disempowered Empath will get lost in it. It feels good. In the beginning, unethical entities that don't follow the Law of One neither have any respect will read the Empath without permission, that's how narcissists, psychopaths and parasitic people can give us what we want in the beginning. They will know what to say, do or make us feel until we are hooked.
There is nothing amazing about a psychic, everyone can develop this ability and many unethical ones will be even better at it because they will descend to any level and join any type of forces to get their information, which an honorable intuitive wouldn't do because it's not right to go around reading people, it's like invading their homes.
This second best-friend believed she had tons of problems and I kept being pulled more and more. It took me a long time to open my heart to her, but after gaining my confidence she slowly started testing the boundaries.
She would laughingly say some critical or demeaning things to me and it was said so nicely that I felt bad to be angry or hurt about it. When we don't listen to our bodies, reactions and heart we begin to dissociate and slowly stop feeling. This is the last thing we want to do in this world, feeling our emotions and body sensations is how we navigate without falling into traps.
As she was such a lower level narcissist I didn't notice anything wrong for years. She needed me to be there for her 24/7. As a giver and traumatized person, our 'friendship' turned into one of a free healer and client, and many times of a mother and daughter. She is the one person who taught me to expect an exchange. To have one as the giver and another as the taker in any relationship or professional exchange is just not fair.
Genuine Spiritual People are often shamed into sacrificing their time, heart and talents for free as parasites know these people are kind-hearted and want to help, but we need to be aware this is not true but a manipulation.
Soon, she didn't need to pretend to care about my life anymore because she realized I was happy in helping others, that's all I did. I was there for her all the time, once a week I volunteered to give free energy healings in a spiritual center and on Sundays I was visiting the elderly. The *mind slides happened again and I went around looking for the source of my increasing depression, lack of energy and despair. My self-esteem level also kept going down. I felt very unsure of myself throughout our relationship.
I never expect gratitude, when I do things for others it's because of the joy of it and I know it is what Source would want it, that World Peace is not made by complaining and blaming, but each one of us has to light up our little corner every day. But after 5 years of being a free counselor and emotional punching bag to this friend I obviously was having unsettling feelings and misgivings for her. I had to move overseas and told her so through the phone because she went out with many other friends, and would tell me about it, but never with me. Her sister, confidant, and free support was about to go away for good and she only replied with an 'Uh, ok then.' She didn't suggest coming to the airport, that we should meet or showed any emotion. The dam broke and I was stunned.
I got so mad I knew I had to hang up the phone or I would hurt her. I needed to process those feelings and be sure I wasn't being unfair.
Like a shower of cold water, I realized how I was there for her, even offering to pay for her and her children's bills so she could come live with me and leave an abusive husband. After years of wrecking my head on how to solve her problem, I realized I had an apartment she could live in but was extremely disappointed when she responded with a 'Nuh, I don't think so.'
I was very confused and realized years later that she only wanted to complain. She would have talked about the same problem for 10 years, it seems, as she only 'solved' it by finding another man and landing in the exact same problem but bringing even more innocent children into it. That's when she realized how helpful I was and tried to have me back in her life as her nightclub friends probably couldn't care less.
After my mom, childhood and then this 'best-friend' it became so clear to me what an idiot certain parasites thought I was and how they not only used me but were ungrateful about it to then abuse, mock me and disrupt my life.
You would think that starving Souls would take better care of their source of food or *loosh. When these type of people do this, they are hooking and stealing energy from the Empath or more compassionate person, because Love is what creates Light and Energy. They are not very bright, they always mistreat those who they need the most. These three narcissistic parasites - and my first boyfriend - taught me all I needed to know about being an enabler and a doormat. All four of them wanted to fix the relationship with the same sweet words and broken promises. The boyfriend actually became a stalker for 7 years, and he might have continued if he hadn't lost track of me cause I moved countries!
The four of them were very drained or a little lost after I cut them out. They could never really apologize and I doubt they changed.
Continuing to enable parasites and their ways don't help anyone. They need to learn and it's not up to another person to do so but life itself.
A few years later I allowed my family to come live with me and my then fiancé and it was a disaster. I needed to see how parasitic and disrespectful they are. Living with my abusive family who has a boundary problem after 7 years of living apart seemed to show me how worse they got, but the truth is they didn't change or became nastier, I evolved and valued myself so their attacks seemed amplified tenfold.
My mom then walked out on my 30th birthday. There were no off-limit days or difficult phases I went through where she would lay off her hurtful attacks. I was very angry and so done with her that I took that opportunity to also stop talking to her for the first time in my life. For 4 months or so she didn't look for me but narcissists need their loosh so she came back, I just ignored her and that's when she realized I wasn't talking to her either.
It only lasted for 9 months because I did it out of anger. I felt sorry for her and when the rage was over, I went right back to our incredibly toxic relationship. She had changed tactics though because she never believed I would ever cut her out of my life. Instead of downright calling me the most downgrading names someone could use on a woman, turning my own family and relatives against me, she became passive-aggressive and for a few years, I couldn't really pinpoint the insults because she was now masquerading them in concern and false love. She never said she loved me though, she would instead say 'Mothers love their children more than anything in the world' and I was supposed to understand that love came with a lot of shaming, repression, abuse, humiliation and betrayal. She was the one who turned my father against me and indoctrinated my brother to hate me as well, even teaching him the worst names he could call me since he was 6 and they were not suitable for children. She always said all she did was for my own good, that I asked for it and how ungrateful I was when I complained.
When she moved overseas started communicating through webcam, where she would criticize me about my appearance until I was done with it and could only endure her voice by calling her. The sight of her made me sick, especially live. Nowadays I can't even look at her pictures. Yes, I spent a lot of money on international calls to have someone abuse me and listen to her tantrums. She demanded her daughter gave her news and I still felt like an ungrateful person for trying to talk to her as little as possible. To believe in a lie that we were told is to be under mind-control and I still had many toxic thoughts she brainwashed me with. We need to be strong to break it by analyzing, questioning the thought and then being forgiving of ourselves when we take different actions but not always succeed as change comes with a lot of back and forth.
Any contact with parasites is draining and harmful.
I then stopped calling and only e-mailed her. I was 35 when I finally told her exactly what was going on, and how e-mail was our last form of contact. I wrote down everything like a document, outlining why I cut webcam and then phone calls, what she did and especially, what she couldn't do anymore. I told her very clearly that she was not to abuse me anymore, that if I ever detected any hint of criticism, sabotaging, if she continued to compare me to everyone or point all of the things I was doing wrong in my life (I was even criticized by the way I breathed when I was little) that we would be done. I re-read the note for 3 weeks to make sure it wasn't emotionally charged, that I didn't want to remove anything and had written everything I ever wanted her to hear. Letters and e-mails are the best forms to deal with narcissists because they can't hear you anyway, and relationships with them are one-sided. I didn't need to edit it, I said everything I wanted and made it very clear how things were going to be from then on if she wanted to be in my life. I also reminded her that everytime I cut someone I never go back.
When I am in a relationship I am all in, I am loyal like a dog, I am there to support and do all I can but then if I wake up and find I've been used or any unbalance and there's no negotiation with the person I am done. I never cut people out to hurt them, but because I tried my best and am only getting hurt. And the more I value myself, the more respect I expect from others, at least the same amount I give them. I feel deserving of it now.
She knows that and I think she tried. As with everything coming full-circle, signs from the universe started to appear one after another and I found what narcissism was. The more I researched, the more stunned I was by how none of the ill feelings of inferiority, guilt and shame were originating from me, that my biggest enemy was one of the closest people in my life, parasitizing me from my blind-spot of being unwilling to betray or look closely because she was family and 'gave me life', as she loved to remind me. Ironically she was the main reason why I wanted to kill myself since I was 8 as well.
When I told her she was a narcissist her reaction was as expected, she denied but it was also funny because she went on a typical narcissist rant in a long e-mail. I could feel she was surprised because I wasn't taking her baits anymore. For the first time, I understood how she desired to get into arguments and escalate things from there. Her goal was to destroy my day ever since I was little. When I was a teenager I started to notice but didn't want to believe that she became very angry when I was happy or something good happened in my life.
I was already staying on a higher level when she baited me for a few years, but I wouldn't downright ignore her provocations before knowing about her spiritual disease of narcissism. I guess I wanted to discuss our relationship, always hoping we would fix it one day. I couldn't let my family go. She went ballistic when she thought I wasn't getting triggered anymore. As I said, I wasn't writing those things out of anger, in fact, I felt nothing. I felt like a warrior coming back from battle with nothing to give: no more love, no fight in me, no anger, no resentment... I was free actually.
Ironically, I had told her in the long document that any argument or offenses she threw at me would be enough for me to cut her as I was done. She did immediately argue, even though I wrote she should really think and re-think before using the send button but I continued to talk to her a few more times because things came up and I still wanted to help her understand. I knew I wasn't ever going to be there to guide and protect her anymore, not even after this life and I made sure to leave her with what I feel she will need for her growth. She tried some old guilty-trips and went on the usual narcissist loop: trying to make the enabler feel sorry for her, then offend me, attack and when nothing worked she went back into trying to bait me to pity her as I always did. I still feel lots of compassion for her and I know that removing myself will help her, probably not in this life but she is one step closer to evolving on her own and stop blaming me for everything: how I changed her body with my pregnancy (not my brother, only me), how my pregnancy hurt her more than my brother's...(yes, it makes no sense but when I was a child I carried every bit of this guilt), how I messed up her marriage, her relationship with our relatives (no matter what they did she sided with them) and invented many other crimes I didn't commit.
When I was little I was the mother, the worrier and she took my childhood away in many ways. She played the victim for decades and it worked because to this day I still can feel the emptiness and pain inside of her, but she is the one who will have to decide to become compassionate to fill her self with Light, as no one else can do that for her.
Nowadays I can witness certain awful things and know when to help someone or not because that's all I've been doing in my life: supporting others so
I should have learned by now. People who cannot see their faults, project their pain onto others, don't strive to evolve nor take responsibility should always be left alone to look at themselves in the mirror. They'll always blame others as long as they don't have the guts to look at themselves.
I always felt ancient with her, like I had to walk on eggshells even though she didn't care for my feelings in return. Like I can take a lot but she, on the other hand, is fragile.
She tried to offend and attack me a few more times during those e-mail exchanges, but after 36 years I could see her so clearly it didn't hurt, so much so that I don't remember what she tried to pull off. And then when I was satisfied I created another e-mail and didn't respond anymore. About 9 months later I had to check that e-mail because, unfortunately, it was connected to some other things and saw her e-mails. She kept ranting for months even though I wasn't replying. She used the victim card a lot or accused me of being the ungrateful daughter. I kept my promise to myself and didn't open them but she started to write in the subject, so I had an idea of what she was talking about. I reminded her that I had warned I would cut her out of my life if she crossed the line. That I didn't wish her ill or anything but she was never harming me again.
I commemorated cutting my greatest 'enemy' out of my life and soon it will be 2 years. I actually went out for a Vegan dinner to mark the date even though I am very frugal. I started to live a little more after I cut my own mom out of my life and I know I'll never go back. Leaving my 'best-friends', first boyfriend and brother brought visible shifts, completely changing my life but with my ex-mom, I actually breathe easier, I no longer feel filthy, guilty, like I'm doing something wrong or feel unworthy. She had so much control over me that one sentence from her over the phone sometimes would send me down into a spiral of angst like she was sending me energetic daggers.
We should look at blood-relations because they are too thick, too close to home and influence us a lot. No matter how sorry we feel for them or even if we know why they are doing the things they do and forgive, if they can't be civilized we have a choice to make as they can really destroy our lives. After getting rid of her my Ascension shifts started happening by the month or weeks. I keep going into higher frequencies multiple times a year while my life was a constant spiral of months of depression, pain and shame when she was able to attack me whenever she wished. It's only been two years but I am no longer the person I was when she was in my life. I evolved and healed considerably after cutting the root cause of my suffering. Many of the changes are still in energetic form.
I thought of all the things that could happen, her getting sick, never saying goodbye to her if something happened, if I would regret, who could take care of her in her elderly years and I don't feel remorseful that my psychopathic brother should do it. He lived right beside me but had an alternate reality of a normal life, support, hugs, touches, conversation, protection, love, he was even spoiled by her and will also receive all the money my parents stole from me. They get along, he received all of her until there was nothing left for me, he even has the material means and they all live comfortably in the apartment I helped to pay for while they threaten to kick me out of it. I think they should take care of themselves. I have no savings and can barely afford for me and the animals I rescue, I certainly couldn't help her and her luxurious ways. It did hurt that she used my hard earned money for plastic surgeries, an unnecessary above our economic means car and filled the apartment with brand new custom furniture while she appeared with a second hand, disgusting bed for me (that the bully cousin pushed her to buy), giving me no choice even in the little room I had for a while.
No wonder I would tremble or feel the chills when I lived with them. We were like water and oil. I used to feel like a lamb amongst predators and that they were about to eat me alive or I would cease to exist as their energy was so overpowering. When I was little my father kicked my Dog and I tried my hardest to not hate him for days. As they were the majority I thought there was something wrong with me and they always told me there was, especially in the last 2 years we lived together when none of them were talking to me. It took me years of living by myself to slowly and through painful flashbacks realize how sick and unfair they were. I slowly changed sides, going back and forth, always questioning until I saw the truth and continue to heal the guilt, shame and unworthy feelings deeply rooted inside of me. I will think I am cured but then I'll have deep purgings (crying, feeling, venting, processing and such) two or three times a year about this area, maybe more, especially during solstices and equinoxes when the portals open up ]with intense energies.
As I write this I also am dealing with the scars because when we practice our Lightworker mission or purpose, trying to help others, we also benefit and heal ourselves. We are all connected. And the Solstice energies are out of this world in 2018, phew!
It crossed my mind to sue my parents for stealing so much money I made since I was 14 as they had this intention when they lied and said it was being saved for my college (I never really saw or used that money really), but I can't. It has nothing to do with people being wrong in defending themselves from their parents, I just don't have the energy and I know I would feel sorry for them while battling this even though they are wrong. I know myself, I could never finish it. After the shock of learning my own parents stole from me, the devastating despair, the anger, grief, how hard it was to trust humans again after that and the healing, I feel I'll always be financially and physically taken care of, somehow. But these people sold their souls to get some money, energy or feel better about themselves while I continue to be whole. I didn't sell my soul out.
I am grateful I never gave in. I did hate, for a few years I was so angry with her and during another phase, with humanity really. But I had to process that because it was within me. I wasn't bad for being pissed, I actually should be, especially people who lost their self-preservation so I could make a change. But now, I have true self-esteem that doesn't depend on how I look, career, money, possessions, men, friends, social life, going out on weekends or anything because I refrain from visiting any low-vibrational places. How would I ever explain this to 'normal' 3d people? I am as 'weird' and unique as it gets and I am always discovering more of who I truly am as I continue to embody my Higher Self, who I want to be and how I want to live and act like. I can't do anything because other women, people my age or whatever similar group is doing, I learned to be my Divine Self. External support is important but when I lost 'friends', had nothing to eat or wasn't dating I still survived and came out of it whole because Source was showing nothing really belongs to me and a spiritual person needs to go through periods in the void, it's part of the path. That's what I mean when I say I went to hell and back sometimes, it's because these wounded or empty people ended up teaching me everything I needed for myself and Divine Mission on Earth. I am glad I already went through the loss of everything, even many near-death experiences because I am attached to nothing. I have seen how it weakens people and I don't have that burden anymore.
When I lost material stuff, people, identity, went through character assassination, false rumors, gossip, betrayal, bullying, when I went through hunger and was even fearing to become homeless, I've found myself! People don't grow because their lives were easy.
There is no greater treasure than having Love for ourselves, All Humanity, Animals and Mother Earth EQUALLY, and for ourselves a confidence that comes from within, not from talents or possessions. A love and peace that is there when we lose it all and everyone turns their backs at us.
I understand my life now and these toxic people. I actually wouldn't change my story. Now, I can tell others about it and they won't have to go through the whole journey, beating their heads against the wall like I did, going back and forth until they figure it out all alone.
I wish we all shared our unique pain and learning, so NONE of us would have to go back and forth.
We need to stop sharing only successes or even pretending all is fine and be transparent. We ALL suffered something and we could help thousands of others by being WayShowers of our difficulties.
Humanity is more divided and conquered than it has ever been, we need to open up now and be real. We don't need people getting richer, we need to embrace each other and stop pretending, putting filters in our lives and as such, creating more walls. We are all fellow human beings, the shaming, mocking and criticizing got to stop.
We don't need to help, carry or even know unsafe people. Yes, they are wounded but we all need to self-heal ourselves and take responsibility. Those who spew their pain onto others need to be left alone.
It doesn't matter they are family or even a friend we had forever, no respect, no deal!
We are only responsible for our consciousness. We can help each other in love and harmony, but we can't allow psychopaths and the selfish into positions of power or into our lives.
This is the Era of the Empaths now. The Energies and the system that is coming online, behind the veil and still in energetic form are not feeding the parasitic matrix. It will take Divine Timing for it to be made manifest in the physical form and it depends on each one of us. The good and compassionate needs to hop into the right wagon and unfortunately, we are leaving others behind. Those who think others owe them something, that because they were

hurt in the past they can now attack others or parasitize on their energy are spiritually immature. They will learn but we need to be strong and let the energy addict go through their purging and recovery by themselves. Don't drug addicts need to be locked in a period of solitude until they get rid of their need? They could come back into our lives if they had some humility and respect, but sooner or later we learn that people who attack others are one of the slowest to change and evolve. When they have no one to blame or shout at, they will finally realize what is the real source of their darkness and pain.
These people also have a lot of influence because they are never alone, they always have a host of interdimensional or demonic entities behind them. When they attack, it always feels like you have been run over by ten people, not just one.
I dream of a world where good people live in harmony, receives the respect and appreciation they deserve and can all express themselves authentically without being judged or attacked for shining the Light.

Enough is enough!
If you have been through similar experiences, you are not alone and I hope this helps.
I am sorry for what they did to you.

Much love and healing to you!
Marta


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